ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
