i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
