So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sober January is a disaster.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
