the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
