Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
