I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
