I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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