shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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