you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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