This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
