dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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