I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This baby is an asshole
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
