I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
