let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
