Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
