called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize