Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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