i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
