these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
