the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
