Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
