sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is the high leading the old right now
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
