There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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