i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
