Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
