Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize