I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
