New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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