Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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