My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
