you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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