I wish I only lived at night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
