remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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