therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
