Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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