after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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