I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
