Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
