Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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