Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize