Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
