dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
