i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just high enough for therapy.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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