I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
