Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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