This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
