they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
