He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
