You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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