Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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