is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i think im in europe. pls send help
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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