I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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