You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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