Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
