I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
