she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
