i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
