He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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