I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize