I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
